I don't know how many other people that have spent time in Ethiopia feel, but I feel guilty about buying new things for myself. I fine with buying clothes, books, toys for the kids and even for my husband. (Also, getting my hair done).
But being in Ethiopia changed me. Changed how I look at the world. Changed how I think about the world and the USA. I find myself at times feeling guilty for what I have in my life. My husband and I are not materialistic people. We don't have alot of "things" and we gave up the ability to have "things" to adopt two children internationally. Our house is an average ranch house from the 80s that has multiple unfinished remodeling projects going on. But compared to what so many in the world have, we are RICH.
We have a roof over our head, not made of tin, it doesn't leak. We have enough food to eat. We have clean water to drink.
There is so much need in the world that it overwhelms me to think of it. We give money to our church for humanitarian needs. We support, Habitat for Humanity, Mercy Corp, Ethiopian Orphan Relief and what they do by donating money. Then someone else introduces a new organization to me and I feel torn. Where will our money be best used and help the most? How can we not help?
A lady at our church, since we adopted from Ethiopia wants us to get involved with a group that raises money for a school for orphans in Liberia. As much as I know there is need, I just feel like I can not handle getting involved in the needs in Liberia. I believe we need to give back to Ethiopia. The country that gave us two amazing children. Help the country where our family was completed.
So I find myself as we are choosing a new fridge to buy, (ours in on its last legs) feeling guilty for spending money on a fridge. Even though we need a new fridge. I haven't been able to shake this feeling since we came home in Sept of 09.
I guess it will help me be a better person and think of others before myself. It will help me teach our children that there is more to life than big screen TVs and video games. It will help me teach them to care for others that are less fortunate and give of themselves.
But I have to admit sometimes I wish I had a little of my old view of the world back. Just some days.
2/12/11
2/5/11
Alec attitude
Wow today was not a stellar day by any means. Started bad at 5:30 AM with Alec up and standing on the railing of his crib and falling backwards onto the mattress (I caught him in the middle of the act) and his sister laughing and saying AGAIN. Nooooo Not again. He was put in the play in pack in our room and told to go back to sleep. Haven was left in their room and also told to go back to bed it was too early to be up.
Next bad step...Haven flipping off the baby monitor by turning off the power strip. Then she is telling me she didn't do it. "Alec did it". I guess she forgot he got moved into the play in pack.....grrr..
So today we broke down Alec's crib. I'm so not ready for my just turned 2 year old to have that freedom. He is sleeping on his mattress on the floor as I type this.
We have had a really long week. Naing's car has been in the shop all week. To save the cost of a car rental, I have been getting up early (so have the kids) to take him to the bus stop at 6 in the morning. It has so messed with their schedule and mine. So by Friday we were wiped out. The kids went to be early last night so I thought they would be OK today. WRONG! Whine, cry, fight, whine, cry, fight...all day long.
By 10 o'clock this morning I had put Haven back to bed for a nap and things got better.
We had an uneventful afternoon. Walked over to the park to play before the rain set it. But the one thing that had not happened all day long was a video. I had taken away their Wiggles video because of their behavior. Alec's in particular. He is in a hitting phase. When he gets mad at Haven or me now he hits. He used to just bite her, guess he has moved out of that phase into a new one now. Ugh!!!!! Nothing like getting slapped in the face by a 2 year old. Oh but I digress. So we were walking home from the park and he is trying to convince me that we should watch the Wiggles when we get home. Since we just ran them tired in the park, I agreed thinking the whining/fighting had stopped. Shortly into the DVD they wanted a glass of milk.
Haven started to run around with milk still in her mouth (she finds this very amusing). After multiple times of telling her to sit down and swallow her milk before she got up, she got put into time out for not listening.
Well I turned off the TV during time out since we have a time in set up in the living room/dining area. Alec said "Mommy, TV on." I said (as I am holding Haven in time out while she throws a huge fit), "No TV while Haven is in time out and the way she is acting, this time out may go on for awhile. Alec's 2 year old response, "Oh No we are NEVER going to see the Wiggles." Both Naing and I were laughing so hard. That boy is a Hoot. Life moved forward, Haven got out of time out and the TV was turned back on to finish the Wiggles DVD.
Dinner was another round of Alec getting mad and throwing his fork on the floor and trying to hit. Bed time was fast approaching with his BAD ATTITUDE.
But now that I look at him sleeping on his new bed on the floor set up, I think Wow you are growing up way too fast for me. Where did my snugly baby boy go? Oh yeah I fed him well and now he wears a size 9 shoe!
As amusing as he is as a 2 year old, I miss my sweet baby boy and having a quieter Saturday.
Here is hoping that tomorrow morning starts better. Not expecting it too, since he will be free to get up and do who knows what.
Next bad step...Haven flipping off the baby monitor by turning off the power strip. Then she is telling me she didn't do it. "Alec did it". I guess she forgot he got moved into the play in pack.....grrr..
So today we broke down Alec's crib. I'm so not ready for my just turned 2 year old to have that freedom. He is sleeping on his mattress on the floor as I type this.
We have had a really long week. Naing's car has been in the shop all week. To save the cost of a car rental, I have been getting up early (so have the kids) to take him to the bus stop at 6 in the morning. It has so messed with their schedule and mine. So by Friday we were wiped out. The kids went to be early last night so I thought they would be OK today. WRONG! Whine, cry, fight, whine, cry, fight...all day long.
By 10 o'clock this morning I had put Haven back to bed for a nap and things got better.
We had an uneventful afternoon. Walked over to the park to play before the rain set it. But the one thing that had not happened all day long was a video. I had taken away their Wiggles video because of their behavior. Alec's in particular. He is in a hitting phase. When he gets mad at Haven or me now he hits. He used to just bite her, guess he has moved out of that phase into a new one now. Ugh!!!!! Nothing like getting slapped in the face by a 2 year old. Oh but I digress. So we were walking home from the park and he is trying to convince me that we should watch the Wiggles when we get home. Since we just ran them tired in the park, I agreed thinking the whining/fighting had stopped. Shortly into the DVD they wanted a glass of milk.
Haven started to run around with milk still in her mouth (she finds this very amusing). After multiple times of telling her to sit down and swallow her milk before she got up, she got put into time out for not listening.
Well I turned off the TV during time out since we have a time in set up in the living room/dining area. Alec said "Mommy, TV on." I said (as I am holding Haven in time out while she throws a huge fit), "No TV while Haven is in time out and the way she is acting, this time out may go on for awhile. Alec's 2 year old response, "Oh No we are NEVER going to see the Wiggles." Both Naing and I were laughing so hard. That boy is a Hoot. Life moved forward, Haven got out of time out and the TV was turned back on to finish the Wiggles DVD.
Dinner was another round of Alec getting mad and throwing his fork on the floor and trying to hit. Bed time was fast approaching with his BAD ATTITUDE.
But now that I look at him sleeping on his new bed on the floor set up, I think Wow you are growing up way too fast for me. Where did my snugly baby boy go? Oh yeah I fed him well and now he wears a size 9 shoe!
As amusing as he is as a 2 year old, I miss my sweet baby boy and having a quieter Saturday.
Here is hoping that tomorrow morning starts better. Not expecting it too, since he will be free to get up and do who knows what.
1/31/11
Do they like.....love each other?
There are days like today that I wonder if my two children even like each other. Some days they are battling from sunup to sundown. Adoption of two non-related children at once is not for the faint of heart. Yes I know biological siblings fight too, I was one of 6. But when I watch them fight, I can't help but wonder, do you not like having a sibling? Are you not happy to have someone else in the family that looks like you, comes from your heritage, has experienced life in an orphanage?
Haven and Alec are in constant competition all day long. Competition for my lap, my attention, toys, the blankets, brushing their teeth, singing a song, reading a book, picking a video....on and on all day long, until they are fighting over who gets to say their prayers first. Lord knows, I have tried to be fair with taking turns, each having their own special time with me, but it never seems like it is enough for them.
Is it because they are too alike in their personal experience? Or is it because they are too different? When I try to talk to people about this, I get told, "oh they are just siblings". I wonder when or if I will stop analyzing everything as being an adoption/orphanage thing.
Just when I think they will never get along they show support for each other. Alec is potty training and gets M&Ms when he is successful. He always asks if Haven is going to get one too. She always does, just like he always got one when she was potty training.
Haven and I were having a very bad day today. And I was yelling at her, Alec told me "NO yell at Haven". Sunday Alec wanted to watch The Wiggles and I told him not until Haven finishes her breakfast. He went over and started helping her eat. Of course he had an ulterior motive...but it was so sweet. So maybe there is hope that they will work through this competition phase and move one to being each other's best friend and ally.
Here is some proof that they do like each other's company every now and then.
Reading books together.
Haven and Alec are in constant competition all day long. Competition for my lap, my attention, toys, the blankets, brushing their teeth, singing a song, reading a book, picking a video....on and on all day long, until they are fighting over who gets to say their prayers first. Lord knows, I have tried to be fair with taking turns, each having their own special time with me, but it never seems like it is enough for them.
Is it because they are too alike in their personal experience? Or is it because they are too different? When I try to talk to people about this, I get told, "oh they are just siblings". I wonder when or if I will stop analyzing everything as being an adoption/orphanage thing.
Just when I think they will never get along they show support for each other. Alec is potty training and gets M&Ms when he is successful. He always asks if Haven is going to get one too. She always does, just like he always got one when she was potty training.
Haven and I were having a very bad day today. And I was yelling at her, Alec told me "NO yell at Haven". Sunday Alec wanted to watch The Wiggles and I told him not until Haven finishes her breakfast. He went over and started helping her eat. Of course he had an ulterior motive...but it was so sweet. So maybe there is hope that they will work through this competition phase and move one to being each other's best friend and ally.
Here is some proof that they do like each other's company every now and then.
Reading books together.
 |
| Alec helping Haven eat, so he can watch The Wiggles. |
1/17/11
OT to the rescue
Haven loves, loves, loves (did I say she loves enough) her OT appointments. She asks all week long to go to "Julie's house". After just two weeks I have seen a difference in her tactile sensory issues. One of her favorite things (she tells me this almost daily) is to write in the shaving cream. At OT they do it on a mirror, but we do it in the bathtub at home. It has been great for her and she is now starting to practice writing letters. She has been able to write a L for a little bit, but now she wants to learn to do other letters. So we are working on her writing her name. I am so proud of her!
Her OT is very happy with her progress and can't believe that she is as advanced as she is for a child that lived in a orphanage for the first 18 months of her life. She is very impressed with her fine motor skills.
I love that Haven is excited to go and enjoys her time instead of dreading going. And of course everyone loves to hear how wonderful they are, including me. Julie gave me a nice pat on the back last week and it really helped me get through the rest of the day.
Haven will now tell me if a noise is too loud and bothering her. This is a HUGE step forward. Before she would just shut down in terror and scream. We still have a long way to go with her auditory sensory issues. Who knows if they will ever be handled until she has the additional ear drum surgery when she is older.
Another surprise benefit of her OT appointment is I get 1 uninterrupted hour of play with Alec. While she is in her appointment, we play in a different room. This has been great for him to get my total attention. Alec's me time is usually early in the morning or late at night when Haven is sleeping. Rarely do I have him all to myself during the day. We have had some good bonding and learning time. I'm so proud of him as well.
He is so smart and so athletic. I am amazed at what his little body can do.
After Haven is all done with her appointment. Then Alec gets to go into the gym and play for a little bit with all the great toys.
Things are getting better at our house, slowly but surely! Our therapist has helped me so much and now Haven is getting the help she needs. 2011 is going to be a good year for our family.
Just a little side note: Alec started potty training again. This weekend he ran to the bathroom and said he had to go potty and has for the last 3 days. Of course there have been some accidents. But he is on track to getting out of diapers!!!! When Haven was potty training he started wanting to use the toilet too, but then stopped and wouldn't sit on it if his life depended on it. I quit trying to encourage him to use it and let it go. Now I think he is ready and away we go.
Her OT is very happy with her progress and can't believe that she is as advanced as she is for a child that lived in a orphanage for the first 18 months of her life. She is very impressed with her fine motor skills.
I love that Haven is excited to go and enjoys her time instead of dreading going. And of course everyone loves to hear how wonderful they are, including me. Julie gave me a nice pat on the back last week and it really helped me get through the rest of the day.
Haven will now tell me if a noise is too loud and bothering her. This is a HUGE step forward. Before she would just shut down in terror and scream. We still have a long way to go with her auditory sensory issues. Who knows if they will ever be handled until she has the additional ear drum surgery when she is older.
Another surprise benefit of her OT appointment is I get 1 uninterrupted hour of play with Alec. While she is in her appointment, we play in a different room. This has been great for him to get my total attention. Alec's me time is usually early in the morning or late at night when Haven is sleeping. Rarely do I have him all to myself during the day. We have had some good bonding and learning time. I'm so proud of him as well.
He is so smart and so athletic. I am amazed at what his little body can do.
After Haven is all done with her appointment. Then Alec gets to go into the gym and play for a little bit with all the great toys.
Things are getting better at our house, slowly but surely! Our therapist has helped me so much and now Haven is getting the help she needs. 2011 is going to be a good year for our family.
Just a little side note: Alec started potty training again. This weekend he ran to the bathroom and said he had to go potty and has for the last 3 days. Of course there have been some accidents. But he is on track to getting out of diapers!!!! When Haven was potty training he started wanting to use the toilet too, but then stopped and wouldn't sit on it if his life depended on it. I quit trying to encourage him to use it and let it go. Now I think he is ready and away we go.
1/12/11
Some funny things out of my kiddos mouths
Haven praying before bed "Dear Dog".
Alec praying before bed, Dear God thank you for TV and The Wiggles" we have improved from praying to The Wiggles to praying for The Wiggles.
Alec when I asked him to eat his peas, "No I'm a robot". Sesame Street had information on that day about robots.
Alec reading "A Mother for Chocco", his version goes like this "Chocolate sad, cried, no Mommy. Bear, hug Chocolate, Bear kiss Chocolate, Bear Chocolate's Mommy.
Haven calling Alec to come play blocks with her. Answer from their bedroom, " Later I'm reading books now Kay".
We just got the big box of new clothes my sister sent the kids for Christmas. Haven's response," WOW these jeans adorable."
Haven in her room playing when she is suppose to be sleeping. Me, "Haven go to sleep." Haven's response " I do sleeping."
We have a beta named Selam. The both call him 'Salami' since we have dogs that names end in the "ie" sound.
They make me laugh every day!
Alec had his 2 year check up. He is now 28 pounds and 35 1/2 inches tall. He has grown 1/2 inch since July. His catch up growth spurt is slowing down. He is now 78% in height instead of 97%.
Alec praying before bed, Dear God thank you for TV and The Wiggles" we have improved from praying to The Wiggles to praying for The Wiggles.
Alec when I asked him to eat his peas, "No I'm a robot". Sesame Street had information on that day about robots.
Alec reading "A Mother for Chocco", his version goes like this "Chocolate sad, cried, no Mommy. Bear, hug Chocolate, Bear kiss Chocolate, Bear Chocolate's Mommy.
Haven calling Alec to come play blocks with her. Answer from their bedroom, " Later I'm reading books now Kay".
We just got the big box of new clothes my sister sent the kids for Christmas. Haven's response," WOW these jeans adorable."
Haven in her room playing when she is suppose to be sleeping. Me, "Haven go to sleep." Haven's response " I do sleeping."
We have a beta named Selam. The both call him 'Salami' since we have dogs that names end in the "ie" sound.
They make me laugh every day!
Alec had his 2 year check up. He is now 28 pounds and 35 1/2 inches tall. He has grown 1/2 inch since July. His catch up growth spurt is slowing down. He is now 78% in height instead of 97%.
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