A little guilty

I don't know how many other people that have spent time in Ethiopia feel, but I feel guilty about buying new things for myself. I fine with buying clothes, books, toys for the kids and even for my husband. (Also, getting my hair done).

But being in Ethiopia changed me. Changed how I look at the world. Changed how I think about the world and the USA. I find myself at times feeling guilty for what I have in my life. My husband and I are not materialistic people. We don't have alot of "things" and we gave up the ability to have "things" to adopt two children internationally. Our house is an average ranch house from the 80s that has multiple unfinished remodeling projects going on. But compared to what so many in the world have, we are RICH.
We have a roof over our head, not made of  tin, it doesn't leak. We have enough food to eat. We have clean water to drink.
There is so much need in the world that it overwhelms me to think of it. We give money to our church for humanitarian needs. We support, Habitat for Humanity, Mercy Corp, Ethiopian Orphan Relief and what they do by donating money. Then someone else introduces a new organization to me and I feel torn. Where will our money be best used and help the most? How can we not help?
A lady at our church, since we adopted from Ethiopia wants us to get involved with a group that raises money for a school for orphans in Liberia. As much as I know there is need, I just feel like I can not handle getting involved in the needs in Liberia. I believe we need to give back to Ethiopia. The country that gave us two amazing children. Help the country where our family was completed.
So I find myself as we are choosing a new fridge to buy, (ours in on its last legs) feeling guilty for spending money on a fridge. Even though we need a new fridge. I haven't been able to shake this feeling since we came home in Sept of 09.
I guess it will help me be a better person and think of others before myself. It will help me teach our children that there is more to life than big screen TVs and video games. It will help me teach them to care for others that are less fortunate and give of themselves.
But I have to admit sometimes I wish I had a little of my old view of the world back. Just some days.

Alec attitude

Wow today was not a stellar day by any means. Started bad at 5:30 AM with Alec up and standing on the railing of his crib and falling backwards onto the mattress (I caught him in the middle of the act) and his sister laughing and saying AGAIN.  Nooooo Not again. He was put in the play in pack in our room and told to go back to sleep. Haven was left in their room and also told to go back to bed it was too early to be up.

Next bad step...Haven flipping off the baby monitor by turning off the power strip. Then she is telling me she didn't do it. "Alec did it". I guess she forgot he got moved into the play in pack.....grrr..

So today we broke down Alec's crib. I'm so not ready for my just turned 2 year old to have that freedom. He is sleeping on his mattress on the floor as I type this.

We have had a really long  week. Naing's car has been in the shop all week. To save the cost of a car rental, I have been getting up early (so have the kids) to take him to the bus stop at 6 in the morning. It has so messed with their schedule and mine. So by Friday we were wiped out. The kids went to be early last night so I thought they would be OK today.  WRONG! Whine, cry, fight, whine, cry, fight...all day long.
By 10 o'clock this morning I had put Haven back to bed for a nap and things got better.

We had an uneventful afternoon. Walked over to the park to play before the rain set it. But the one thing that had not happened all day long was a video. I had taken away their Wiggles video because of their behavior. Alec's in particular. He is in a hitting phase. When he gets mad at Haven or me now he hits. He used to just bite her, guess he has moved out of that phase into a new one now. Ugh!!!!! Nothing like getting slapped in the face by a 2 year old.  Oh but I digress. So we were walking home from the park and he is trying to convince me that we should watch the Wiggles when we get home. Since we just ran them tired in the park, I agreed thinking the whining/fighting had stopped. Shortly into the DVD they wanted a glass of milk.
Haven started to run around with milk still in her mouth (she finds this very amusing). After multiple times of telling her to sit down and swallow her milk before she got up, she got put into time out for not listening.

Well I turned off the TV during time out since we have a time in set up in the living room/dining area. Alec said "Mommy, TV on." I said (as I am holding Haven in time out while she throws a huge fit), "No TV while Haven is in time out and the way she is acting, this time out may go on for awhile.  Alec's 2 year old response, "Oh No we are NEVER going to see the Wiggles." Both Naing and I were laughing so hard. That boy is a Hoot.  Life moved forward, Haven got out of time out and the TV was turned back on to finish the Wiggles DVD.

Dinner was another round of Alec getting mad and throwing his fork on the floor and trying to hit. Bed time was fast approaching with his BAD ATTITUDE.

But now that I look at him sleeping on his new bed on the floor set up, I think Wow you are growing up way too fast for me. Where did my snugly baby boy go? Oh yeah I fed him well and now he wears a size 9 shoe!
As amusing as he is as a 2 year old, I miss my sweet baby boy and having a quieter Saturday.

Here is hoping that tomorrow morning starts better. Not expecting it too, since he will be free to get up and do who knows what.