Sorry I haven't posted in a few months. Life has gotten busier with me working two nights a week. I have lost some of my after the kids go to bed me time.
Things have been busy. The kids are taking gymnastics once a week still. The class is to help with Haven's sensory issues and they both love it. The teacher let Alec join the class too, even though he doesn't meet the age requirements, since he is capable of doing the physical activity. The bad thing about having class is getting out the house to get to class on time. There are times it would be just easier not to go then deal with the drama and constant reminding needed to get Haven out the door. I'm dreading the start of preschool next Sept, if this is the way it will be on school days.
We just got home from visiting Naing's family in Canada for 8 days. It rained every day we were there. So we were stuck in doors, in his sister's house with no DVD player and kids bouncing off the walls they had cabin fever so bad. Not my idea of a vacation. Naing had fun with old friends from high school and seeing family friends. But I never got to get out of Mom mode. The kids had fun with their 2 older cousins. Alec came up with a new word, "cousinfriend". He really like his cousin's friend who came over every day after school. Yes the school year hasn't ended yet in Canada.
We went to Calgary to visit his other sister and the kids had a great time with their 16 year old cousin. He played Hide and Go, Seek with them and here is the really big thing.....He had a party for his soccer friends and they let the kids be downstairs with them during their party. The kids were so excited to be part of the big kid group. Thanks Christopher for being a good cousin! Oh yeah he is now driving! How can that be he is old enough to drive now???? I still think of him as 10 years old.
Ok now I'm going to rant a little bit. So those of you that do not want to read the rant can stop here.
I'm so frustrated with Sensory Processing Disorder and all the chaos it brings into our daily life. The clothes, food, attention and tactile issues. I am reading, "The Out of Sync Child", while it explains why Haven does what she does, it still doesn't help me be more patient with her. Every day I get up and say ok, I'm going to handle all the bumps today without raising my voice...doesn't happen. I get so frustrated, I loose my temper. Naing had to live with it non-stop for 8 days and he was loosing it too. He doesn't get the full on dose I get on a daily basis. I love Haven dearly, just wish life was a little bit more smooth with her. She tries hard, I know she does, but the outcome is not always good.
I get so frustrated with people not understanding why Haven does what she does. Not understanding what SPD is. Family members and their not asked for advice when they haven't done any research or reading and know NOTHING about it. My biggest frustration is my husband. Yep I wrote that! He hasn't read anything I have asked him to read, doesn't help me try to figure out solutions or do research on what will work for our daughter. Everything is left to me to do and then he gripes about what I implement. He gripes about the cost of having our kids gluten free...get over it!!!! Their health is more important than the grocery bill and there is improvement with Haven on gluten free. If he had read the information I have given him he would see that is one of the first steps you can take. I was so angry with him griping to his family about it that I lost it at his sister's and told him off in front of family. Not mature I know.
The one thing that has helped me is the Ethiopian Mama's group on facebook. I posted a question about the clothes issues and got great responses and found out about more resources I can go to. I am also going to go back and see our therapist. I need that release and need someone to help me look at new ways of dealing with the SPD, not really dealing with Haven but her SPD. I have stopped thinking about it as Haven being difficult, but instead it is the SPD that is difficult.
3 Kind Words:
we should chat--my big kid has spd and the most frustrating element of spd had to be my sweet husband's lack of support. Add 'The Out-of-Sync Child has Fun' to your reading list (it will help smooth out some of the bumps) and send me an email and I'll pass my digits your way (and then we can figure out a mutually convenient time to chat, 3 time zones apart!)
It is tough. I hope it gets better. My daughter is SPD. Kind of. She is diagnosed. But it turns out that her SPD is likely a symptom of her attachment issues (for some kids). Either way I hope you find the support you need as you walk through this journey with your family.
You know, we had the same problems at our house even though Candace's issues aren't the same as Haven's. I'm talking about the well-meaning but annoying advice from people who don't know anything about it, the exhausted and frustrated mama... even the husband/daddy who knows but doesn't "know". Boy, do I get it. Let's run away and go on a cruise together! Oh, wait, that probably won't work... anyway. Has Naing gone by himself to the therapist with Haven? I found that was very helpful in getting Tom to step up to the plate and start learning about the issues and why we are doing certain things. I highly recommend it. And it's okay to feel frustrated. I wish I had more great words of wisdom, but camaraderie is all I've got right now. Hugs, Becky.
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