My friend Jill, told me I needed to post this story of my children and the poopy diaper. But first I need to give some background information. Haven has had an issue with poop and wanting to touch and (this is not for the weak of stomach) eat it when she first came home. So I made a HUGE thing about how GROSS poop is and we don't touch it and we don't eat it. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago.
Haven is very good about staying in her big girl bed in the morning or coming straight into our room to let us know she is up. One morning, after a long night of Alec being up multiple times, Haven came into my room and asked if it was time to get up. I told her no, it was still dark outside and Mommy needed to sleep a little longer. I asked her to go get a book for Alec and a book for herself to read, so I could sleep a little longer.
She did just that and I was able to drift off a little longer.
Then I heard on the baby monitor...... a diaper being ripped off, Alec saying "poop is gross!". Haven saying " Mommy is sleeping...shhhhh." I got up and got into their bedroom to find Haven in Alec's crib trying to clean up his dirty bottom and re-diaper him. She had gotten the baby wipes off of the changing table, wiped him, taken the dirty wipe and put it back on the changing table and got back into the crib with a new diaper. All by the time I got out of bed and walked across the hall. Needless to say there was poop in Alec's crib so we had a lot of wash to do that day.
Haven always surprises me. She has a very strong mothering instinct and always tries to take care of Alec. She loves babies and always wants to see and hold them. But I didn't expect her to try to take care of me by letting me sleep and changing Alec's diapers. Sweet girl. I thanked her, but reminded her it was my job to take care of Alec. My job to change his poopy diapers.
I always wonder what her life was like in the orphanage and the more I get to know her, I think she must have helped take care of the babies (even though she was a baby herself). Maybe someday she can tell me what it was like. There are so many pieces of her story I don't know and I wish there was some way to find out so I could know my daughter better and understand why she approaches some of life's challenges like she does.
PS. I hope I didn't gross anyone out with the poop talk, but hey most the readers of this blog are parents...so they know what is in a dirty diaper.
11/25/10
Happy Thanksgiving
Wow I can't believe today is Thanksgiving. The year has flown by. Five years ago today, Naing was meeting my family that live in Oregon for the first time. Last year was our first Thanksgiving with our children home. Today we celebrate our second Thanksgiving as a family.
I am so thankful for my family. As difficult as our journey was to become a family, I wouldn't have changed one thing. Now we have these two amazing, smart, funny children that fill our lives with their spirit.
So I wanted to do what any family does to celebrate their holiday, take a family photo. I had my brother-in-law take a shot of us so we can use it for our Christmas card. Now remember how hard it is to get one child to look and smile at the camera...yep two is much harder. They are either looking away or not smiling or both. Throw in that H sucks her thumb and A sucks his fingers and things getter tricky ...so this is our best shot of many. Even though Haven is not smiling it is a cute picture of all of us. Notice the strategic placement of our hands over their hands:)
I am so thankful for all the wonderful families we have met along our adoption journey. We are truly blessed and need to remind ourselves about that when we get stuck in the day to day.
My little blessings:
I am so thankful for my family. As difficult as our journey was to become a family, I wouldn't have changed one thing. Now we have these two amazing, smart, funny children that fill our lives with their spirit.
So I wanted to do what any family does to celebrate their holiday, take a family photo. I had my brother-in-law take a shot of us so we can use it for our Christmas card. Now remember how hard it is to get one child to look and smile at the camera...yep two is much harder. They are either looking away or not smiling or both. Throw in that H sucks her thumb and A sucks his fingers and things getter tricky ...so this is our best shot of many. Even though Haven is not smiling it is a cute picture of all of us. Notice the strategic placement of our hands over their hands:)
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| Thanksgiving 2010 |
I am so thankful for all the wonderful families we have met along our adoption journey. We are truly blessed and need to remind ourselves about that when we get stuck in the day to day.
My little blessings:
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| What??? Don't you read on your Pooh train too? |
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| Alec reading "The Cat in the Hat" to Haven. He asked her to sit on his lap...so sweet. |
11/16/10
Bits and Pieces
I just wanted to jot a few things down to remember them. My children's imagination have been taking off and it is so fun to watch. New things that they do;
Haven has set up an office in the entry way of our house. She put two of their little chairs there, insists on having her shoes on, packs up a "bag" and goes to her office. Sometimes she even brings her baby with her to the office.
They both are into baby dolls, feeding them, rocking them and they like to have them wrapped up in the hooded towels. The shopping cart has become the stroller and always has some form of a baby/stuffed animal in it now. They also are telling me at all hours that the "baby" is poopy and needs a new diaper. Alec will get diapers or pull ups out if you don't watch him and put them on everything. So I let them have 1 diaper each for their baby dolls.
Cooking has become a big play thing at our house. They take the baby spoons and some bowls and are always cooking or feeding the baby. Haven loves to make tea for me (I love tea) and coffee for Daddy.
I'm so excited for Christmas because we got them a little kitchen. It will be hours of fun for them both.
Alec's new thing is he wants to see and kiss my elbow...what is that all about?? He is my daredevil! Always trying to find new ways to stand, jump off or flip upside down on the big toys. His favorite thing right now is the Pooh train we pulled back out since he is a little more mature. He used to terrorize poor Stuart chasing him around with the train. Now he is riding it at all times, with minimal amounts of dog terrorizing or wall bashing.
Their taste in books are growing as well. We love "Where the Wild Things Are", "The Cat in the Hat" and "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back" now. The more mischievous books are getting noticed and laughed at.
I love to listen to them read the stories to themselves.
The wiggles is a mainstay in the DVD player. Alec adores them. He is also getting into Curious George. The cutest thing EVER is his little voice saying "Curious George". They are not as interested in Sesame Street, but are loving "Sid the Science Kid". They love the teacher in this show and Sid's family.
We have a new Beta we named Selam and he gets greeted every morning by the kids. So sweet to hear them say his name. Haven continuously asks to hold the fish, doesn't get why I won't let her.
My how they are growing. My sweet baby boy is becoming a 2 year old in all ways. The tantrums and the word NO are occurring regularly. He turns 2 in December. How time is flying. I read on some one's FB " the days are long but time flies by with children", so true!
Haven has set up an office in the entry way of our house. She put two of their little chairs there, insists on having her shoes on, packs up a "bag" and goes to her office. Sometimes she even brings her baby with her to the office.
They both are into baby dolls, feeding them, rocking them and they like to have them wrapped up in the hooded towels. The shopping cart has become the stroller and always has some form of a baby/stuffed animal in it now. They also are telling me at all hours that the "baby" is poopy and needs a new diaper. Alec will get diapers or pull ups out if you don't watch him and put them on everything. So I let them have 1 diaper each for their baby dolls.
Cooking has become a big play thing at our house. They take the baby spoons and some bowls and are always cooking or feeding the baby. Haven loves to make tea for me (I love tea) and coffee for Daddy.
I'm so excited for Christmas because we got them a little kitchen. It will be hours of fun for them both.
Alec's new thing is he wants to see and kiss my elbow...what is that all about?? He is my daredevil! Always trying to find new ways to stand, jump off or flip upside down on the big toys. His favorite thing right now is the Pooh train we pulled back out since he is a little more mature. He used to terrorize poor Stuart chasing him around with the train. Now he is riding it at all times, with minimal amounts of dog terrorizing or wall bashing.
Their taste in books are growing as well. We love "Where the Wild Things Are", "The Cat in the Hat" and "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back" now. The more mischievous books are getting noticed and laughed at.
I love to listen to them read the stories to themselves.
The wiggles is a mainstay in the DVD player. Alec adores them. He is also getting into Curious George. The cutest thing EVER is his little voice saying "Curious George". They are not as interested in Sesame Street, but are loving "Sid the Science Kid". They love the teacher in this show and Sid's family.
We have a new Beta we named Selam and he gets greeted every morning by the kids. So sweet to hear them say his name. Haven continuously asks to hold the fish, doesn't get why I won't let her.
My how they are growing. My sweet baby boy is becoming a 2 year old in all ways. The tantrums and the word NO are occurring regularly. He turns 2 in December. How time is flying. I read on some one's FB " the days are long but time flies by with children", so true!
11/12/10
Play date fun
Last year while we were still in the wait process we met a couple at one of the Portland functions. We have become friends over the year while we brought our two home, they got their referrals and brought their two home. Now we get to watch our children become friends. So sweet to see. My children ask to go see them alot and Haven has an incredible sense of direction, when I'm headed down near their home if I don't turn to go towards their house she starts call their name and crying. (Yeah I was shocked when that happened and it has happened more than once.)
This week we had a playdate and I so hope this video will load, because it is too cute for words. They had so much fun together and I can't believe I would ever be the Mom that lets kids jump on their beds...but I am:) not the couch, just their beds (I feel the need to justify that).
11/4/10
What a rollercoaster of emotions
The last 48 hours have been very surreal for me. I know I have written a few times about how challenging I find parenting Haven. I love our daughter dearly, but I have such huge guilt that I am not doing a good job with her, because she is such a challenge. So after much soul searching, researching and discussing with Naing, I made an appointment with an Adoption/Bonding therapist. Once I made the decision to go meet with her, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. We had our first get to know you meeting yesterday and I'm excited that she can help me learn some new approaches for handling Haven's defiance so we don't have a daily battle of wills. Now I have to do the work to make this happen. One of the things she said to me over and over is that I need to take care of myself and make sure I get what I need. I know I read all the pre-adoption books that tell you that, but it was like I was actually getting permission to do something for me. I don't know if 12 hours of me time a week is really feasible, but I do want to start taking more down time and let Naing or someone else tend to their needs for a few hours. I'm always on and I'm feeling drained. I have hardly been without them for 13 months. So I need to spend some time on me and my sweet husband and I need some us time as well. Now to try to implement and stick with the plan.
After the emotional meeting yesterday, I was on facebook and saw a post about one of the drivers we met while we were in Ethiopia being on facebook. Our little group of friends were all excited to see his smiling face and be able to connect with him again. Just seeing his picture made me feel so much better about my decision, even though the two are not connected.
Today I got this email from a friend of his that lives in France and wanted to be "facebook friends". She was so interesting to talk to since she had adopted from Ethiopia in the 80s and 90s, 3 children at 3 seperate times. She just seemed to be placed in my life when I need some help and guidance. As I was answering her email, this face popped up as someone you might know...and it was this wonderful, young man who was our driver when we went to Meki. I just thought the world of him and didn't get to say goodbye, so I was so excited to see his picture. Would love to keep in touch with him and have someone my children can talk to as they get older about Ethiopia.
I just know that on those days when I am really having a difficult time and wondering what I can do to be a better Mom, their smiling faces will help me.
After the emotional meeting yesterday, I was on facebook and saw a post about one of the drivers we met while we were in Ethiopia being on facebook. Our little group of friends were all excited to see his smiling face and be able to connect with him again. Just seeing his picture made me feel so much better about my decision, even though the two are not connected.
Today I got this email from a friend of his that lives in France and wanted to be "facebook friends". She was so interesting to talk to since she had adopted from Ethiopia in the 80s and 90s, 3 children at 3 seperate times. She just seemed to be placed in my life when I need some help and guidance. As I was answering her email, this face popped up as someone you might know...and it was this wonderful, young man who was our driver when we went to Meki. I just thought the world of him and didn't get to say goodbye, so I was so excited to see his picture. Would love to keep in touch with him and have someone my children can talk to as they get older about Ethiopia.
I just know that on those days when I am really having a difficult time and wondering what I can do to be a better Mom, their smiling faces will help me.
11/2/10
Halloween weekend
Our Halloween weekend was suppose to be packed with fun and excitement for the kiddos. We started the weekend by meeting our friends at the zoo for the annual Zoo scavenger hunt for kids. When we woke up Saturday it was raining, but we live in Oregon so that wasn't going to stop us from having fun and getting candy. I added many layers to the kids and got Haven ready in her Cheshire cat costume. She looked adorable!!! Now it was Alec's turn. Return to the prior weekend, Slime Time event at church...he would not wear the cute dog costume we got for him. No Way No How. So we used the jester costume his cousin had given us.....Now back in present time...he was not going to wear either outfit. No jester, No dog.
Foreshadowing of a sick child....but I just thought he was cranky from not getting a good nap.
The rain stopped when were just getting started and a good time was had by all. Alec was a little less into it than Haven, MiMi and Mez, but he still had a good time. They went home with a goodie bag of healthy organic treats and they loved them.
By Saturday night all Haven could talk about was going as a cat and having her face "colored" (whiskers drawn on). Alec on the other hand started to sneeze and cough.
Sunday morning rolls around and my poor little guy was running a fever. So no trick or treat for him.
Haven was putting on her costume asking me to color her face and ready to go at 10 AM. All day long we talked about going trick or treating later in the evening, what to say, what she was going to be.
Time to get ready. Dad is going to take her and I'm going to stay home with Alec and hand out the candy.
Well low and behold she refuses to wear the cat costume and keeps telling me she wants to be the "gorgeous". OK now the detective work starts....hmmm what could be the "gorgeous"? I finally figured out the jester is the gorgeous. So she became the gorgeous jester and went out with her Dad around our cul-da-sac. Naing was so sweet and taped it for me since I couldn't go. Here are a few pictures of the kids in costumes from their different celebrations and video of Haven. She was so into getting the candy:). Video to follow; kids are up from their nap now.
Foreshadowing of a sick child....but I just thought he was cranky from not getting a good nap.
The rain stopped when were just getting started and a good time was had by all. Alec was a little less into it than Haven, MiMi and Mez, but he still had a good time. They went home with a goodie bag of healthy organic treats and they loved them.
By Saturday night all Haven could talk about was going as a cat and having her face "colored" (whiskers drawn on). Alec on the other hand started to sneeze and cough.
Sunday morning rolls around and my poor little guy was running a fever. So no trick or treat for him.
Haven was putting on her costume asking me to color her face and ready to go at 10 AM. All day long we talked about going trick or treating later in the evening, what to say, what she was going to be.
Time to get ready. Dad is going to take her and I'm going to stay home with Alec and hand out the candy.
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