So began our journey as a family trying to get used to each other and the things that they like and don't like.
The fear of being a bad Mom and the fear that my children that have been through so much, will somehow be more messed up because of me as their Mom.
This has been the most difficult year of my life as well as the most amazing year of my life. Alot of my difficulty was not only in becoming an instant Mom of young children 9 months apart, but also of kinda loosing myself along the way. Being a stay at home Mom is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.
Here I was a Manager that ran a successful Vet Practice for 10 years and managed 12 employees. I thought this would be a piece of cake....more like humble pie.
It has taken a lot for me to adjust to this new role of not working outside the house (totally my choice), not making my own money and other people defining me as "only" a Mom. The first time a went to a party after the kids came home and was asked "What do you do?" When I said "Oh I'm a stay at home Mom" I saw the veil of non-interest come over the lady's face who asked the question. I was shocked at the lack of interest in talking to me, when I have always been the smoozer at the party that talks everyone. I have had to struggle to keep the idependant me alive and not disappear into Motherhood.
Now that a whole year has past (doesn't seem possible). Things are getting better because I have established a routine. The kids are doing very well and growing like weeds. Haven and Alec have large vocabularies. Both of them speak 3-5 word sentences. Both of them are very active and if you turn your back, they are into trouble. The have great sense of humors, love books, our dogs, music and now each other.
I still have my moments with Haven when I loose all patience with her because she is so defiant and strong willed. Our new joke is just say "yes Mommy". She is a strong willed Ethiopian princess and she reminds me of that every day. I want her to be a strong woman, but I have to admit Alec is a lot easier to deal with because he is so easy going. Granted he is moving into the terrible twos and does tell me multiple times a day "I don't want it", no matter what it is.
I know everyone tells me that it will just get easier from here on out. Here is hoping year number 2 is not as difficult as year number 1. But I wouldn't change a thing. I love them so deeply, I can't even remember life without them.
I love hearing them talk to each other in the morning and giggle, best way ever to wake up. So beats an alarm clock.
I still have the fear that I'm screwing them up, but that happens less and less. I know look at their accomplishments and how they have grown and think OK I'm doing somethings right.
3 Kind Words:
It doesn't seem possible that an entire year has already passed.
Yes, the job as SAHM is not easy at all and anyone who says it is obviously can't put that job on their resume :-) But, out of all the jobs I've had in my life, SAHM is not only the most challenging, but the most rewarding.
Keep working on keeping the independent you alive. I think many of us SAHM's struggle with that one, so you're not alone.
And here's to year #2 being even better than year #1.
I still think you are one of the most interesting people to talk to! Maybe that's because you actually used to have a job- no, just kidding! :) Anyways, your kids are so lucky to have you. You stimulate their minds with so many fun activities and they are so smart because of it. And they are so happy! You must be doing a lot of things right. Good job, Mama.
I still remember my outrage 21 years ago when my husband's female classmates at Harvard Business School were less than subtle about their disdain for my status as a stay at home mom! Apparently I lost a lot of good brain cells after I quit my job to be home with my baby! Not that I'm still bitter or anything... ;)
Anyway, being home as a new mom is always a challenge, and with two internationally adopted toddlers... I can't even imagine! This year with our twins was tough and I used every mom trick I learned over the last 20 years and sometimes it still wasn't enough. You survived a mommy baptism by fire! Great job, Becky. And wow, the year went fast didn't it?
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